Food...

Eating out sucks.  It's hard to find things on the menu that sound good, won't get stuck and are healthy. 

So in order to save myself from a lunch out tomorrow, I decided to cook tonight.  I haven't bought a weight loss cookbook so I just made something that has all the ingredients that I love and I know I can eat...tuna noodle casserole.  One box of mac and cheese, prepared without milk, only butter.  Two cans of tuna, one can of cream of mushroom soup and one can of peas.  Mix it all together, top with french fried onions and bake for 30 minutes at 350.  Normally this would make two, two and a half servings for me.  This time I separated it into 5 servings.  So it looks like this is what I'll be eating for the next few days.  And I'm okay with it.  Plus it will give me time to get a cookbook!

I just figured out the calories and fat grams for my casserole.  Each of my 5 servings is 340 calories and 12 grams of fat.  The calorie count seems fine, but the fat grams are a little high.  It's from the mac and cheese.  I guess I won't be eating this all the time!

Tomorrow I'm heading to the gym for the first time! It's been two weeks and it's time to start moving! I'm not sure how much moving I can do...it take calories for energy and I'm sure not taking in that many, but I'm excited for the challenge!

Memorial Day Holiday...

Well, I made it through my first holiday weekend with my lap band. I ate out a few times and it was a struggle, but I think some of the struggle was because I haven't tried that many foods yet and I don't want to try something new in public and have it not agree with me. 

I was asked today how I am doing and how I'm feeling and I said, that's an interesting question.  I have been full and I've eaten some good things, but yesterday I was full and completely unsatisfied and I didn't like that feeling.  But it's hard to get satisfied on 15 bites of chicken.  And I can't be satisfied with a meal if there is no variety.  So I'm going to have to make some better and more exciting meal choices for myself. 

I'm going to buy a recipe book for weight loss surgery folks and we'll see how that helps in the upcoming days. 

First Day at Work...

Today I made it an entire day at work.  But boy was I tired!  I wanted to come home and take a nap but I told Alissa I would take her to see Kung Fu Panda 2 in 3D.  We snuck in some McDonald's chicken nuggets for a snack and I had one.  I peeled the breading off and took 6 bites to eat, but I didn't have any problems with it!  So tonight when I got home I had a few bites of some deli turkey and some macaroni and cheese...and again, I didn't have any problems!

I'm just incredibly happy with how I've been doing, food wise.  These incisions are still giving me grief, but I'm guessing they will for the next few weeks. 

For the next few days, my goals are to become a little more gutsy with solid foods.  And to get out and walk.  My incisions aren't healed enough to get out on my bike, but I would still like to get out there and get some exercise and fresh air!

Staple Free...

I was so nervous going to the doctor today to have all these staples pulled but I should have been worried about the tape, not the staples.  That tape HURT! OMG! The staples were nothing...I barely felt them. 

But now I'm staple free and feeling good! I asked the PA a few questions today about food and how I'm feeling.  He reassured me that my pains are normal and my questions good.  I was a little disappointed that my first post-op wasn't with the surgeon, instead with the PA, but since everything is fine, I didn't complain. 

My next few weeks are just adjusting to the band; adding in new foods as I go along each week and losing weight. 

And speaking of losing weight...I was pretty surprised how much I have lost since I had my first consultation.  From March 28 - May 25 I've lost 31 pounds! That's a little crazy for me to believe.  I mean, I feel less bloated, but I certainly don't feel like 31 pounds are gone.  Of course, I have barely had any food in the last week, and before that I did a long liquid diet.  But having that kind of number just proves this was the right decision for me. 

Much Better...

I slept, I pooped (yes...that's a big deal after surgery...especially when you haven't for 6 days), I ate and I walked. 

This evening I had a few bites of macaroni and cheese that was a little over cooked so it wouldn't swell in my stomach.  And I had no issues.  Tonight I had a few bites of banana with peanut butter.  And I had no issues.  So hopefully tomorrow I have just as good of a day as I did today.

Tomorrow is a big day; I get these horrible staples out! I'm thinking about pre-medicating...will my doctor be upset if I show up drunk? :)

Better...

Obviously I overdid it yesterday.  Last night..and well into this morning...I slept in the recliner.  It was my first good nights sleep since surgery; 12 solid hours.  I did myself a misfortune by jumping back into life too soon.  So I'm staying home from work today and tomorrow.  I'm going to rest and become one with my La-Z-Boy. 

If I'm being honest...

I'm hurting.  I tried to go back to work today and I made it 4 and a half hours before I wanted to cry.  Now that I'm home and tucked into my recliner, I guess I need to blog the truth...

This isn't easy.  I'm in pain from the staples.  Every time I move, they pull and hurt.  My stomach has pains every time I drink/eat something more than a clear liquid.  My breathing is labored each time I drink/eat something more than a clear liquid.  And it is super painful to sleep on my back, which is how I always sleep.  And I can't sleep on my side or stomach because of the staples. 

I wanted to be this tough gal who just sailed through this surgery without any complications, but I'm not.  And it's okay that I'm not. 

So I'm home in my recliner, where I guess I'll sleep for the next few weeks.  I'm not going to have any more protein drinks or yogurt for another week or so. I'm going to work each day, but leave before I feel like crying.  And I'm going to be okay knowing that I need more than 4 days of recovery after major surgery. 

Day 3...

I'm feeling good! I can't believe I don't have any side effects.  But I hope I'm not speaking too soon! I followed the nutritionist's advice on Day 1 and Day 2.  But today, Day 3 I feel so good that I had 3 bites of a banana and a few bites of some mashed potatoes.  And it was great!

I went out and did a little shopping, went to lunch with my mom and Godmom, went to the grocery store and visited with some great friends who are so special for coming across town to see me.  And nothing bad happened to me.  I didn't get sick.  I didn't feel deprived at lunch.  And it's Day 3! I know that things might not always be this great, but today I feel like a total rock star!

The only downfall to this entire thing has been these awful staples.  I have about 15 of them and they pull and tug anytime I move.  What a nightmare! But if that's the only pain I'm having, I'll take it! Because I get rid of those on Wednesday morning. 

I'm so glad the world didn't end today because I am looking forward to the future!

And I'm home...

What a day it was today.  Arrived at the hospital at 6am for my 7:30 surgery.  I remember being wheeled into the OR but I don't remember anything else.  :)  After leaving recovery and getting settled in my room for the morning I realized how much pain I was in! I wasn't prepared for it.  I have 5 tiny incisions with staples, not stitches.  And it's those staples that hate me. So I ended up staying all day at the hospital instead of just a few hours. 

I am very grateful to a nurse named Kim who last week told me that the doctor injects alot of gas into my abdomen and although they try to remove it all, some will be left over and it will cause me back and chest pain.  And she was right.  If I hadn't known that, I'm sure I would have freaked out that I was having a heart attack!

But now I'm home, feeling okay, and amazed I did it.  What a dramatic life change.  I thought about that for a few minutes this morning when I had my IV in and was alone in my pre-op room and it brought me to tears.  My old life is over.  My new life has begun.  It's exciting, but right now, way more scary. 

I'm tucked into bed at home with a bottle of water and my lortab pain medicine to take at 11pm.  Thank you to everyone who emailed and texted and called me today and yesterday to wish me luck and send prayers my way.  Because of you, I had the strength today!

Am I excited?

I am excited.  I am nervous.  But mostly, I'm ready.  I'm ready for this new chapter of my life to begin.  I'm ready for the changes.  I'm ready for the struggles.  But mostly I'm ready for the new clothes! :)  It is probably not what my doctor wants to hear, but I'm excited to shop in an entire new group of brands that are not availble to me currently! 

I read a weight loss blog last week where the writer said that his favorite store is Nordstrom so he's going to buy a $50 giftcard for every 10 pounds he loses.  I think that's a great idea! So much that I'm going to start doing that...although I'm not sure I want to be tied down to just one store.  So I think I'll just start a little mattress fund.  :)

Today was my pre-op appointment with Dr. Hoehn so I could sign my surgery consent.  I gave him a big chunk of money so there you go...in 34 hours from right now I'll be happily in la-la land while he's changing my life with one little silicone circle and 5 little puncture holes in my belly. 

I almost ended this post with "wish me luck everyone" but really, I don't need luck! I'm certain this is the right decision, I'm on the right path and everything happened in the right order.  So instead, I'll just end with saying that the next time I blog will be the beginning of The Real Sarah!

Rough Day...

Boy today was a rough day! I was hungry all day...but then again, I've only eaten two "meals" since last Wednesday.  And that hunger made me edgy.  I wasn't polite to a customer service rep on the phone and I was short with my co-workers.  But my co-workers are very understanding...at least I hope they are!

I called and chatted with the nutritionist today and she gave me some helpful information: I can have just a little bit of food every day.  3oz of lean meats, 1 cup of greens and 1/2 cup of vegetables.  The ultimate goal she said is to have no sugar.  I can handle that! I gave up ALL sugar for Lent this year! Woo-Hoo! I'm not going to go hog wild (pun intended) but it means that my little trip this weekend to Washington DC will be much easier knowing I have some food options. 

So I'm off tomorrow evening with my neice to meet up with my folks.  Wish me luck being strong enough to say no to all the temptations the city will offer me! 

Negativity...

This weekend I was shopping and told a few strangers about my upcoming surgery and they were so excited for me.  I even had one woman hug me!

And then today I told someone I know about the surgery and the look on his face was completely negative.  He judged me and said "can't you just lose the weight the normal way with diet and exercise" like it's SO easy.  I said I've tried but I've been unsuccessful.  What I really wanted to say to him was...what's wrong with you?  Do you think I just sit on my couch, eat ice cream and watch my stomach grow? 

Obesity is an addiction.  And it's the worst one to cure.  If you are addicted to alcohol, you go to rehab, stay away from bars for the rest of your life and you're cured.  If you are addicted to drugs, you go to rehab, stay away from drugs and you're cured.  If you are addicted to food, you go on a diet but you still have to eat EVERY SINGLE DAY.  You can't stay away from food! 

Obesity is failure.  And it's public failure.  If you fail your drivers test over and over, you can just take the bus and tell people you really care about the environment.  But if you fail at weight loss, everyone knows.  Everyone can see it.  And so many people feel it's their right to judge you and tell you that you are a failure...over and over.  It's no wonder that obesity is an epidemic.  It takes a seriously strong person to overcome the hate and judgement and do something about it. 

So for the negative people out there...and to the guy I told today about my choice...I say I'm stronger than you because I recognize my weakness and at least I am doing something about it!

Comments...

Since I'm new to this, I didn't realize I had to "allow" user comments. :)  But I have now so everyone feel free to write away...well, only if you are saying nice things!

To Share or Not To Share...

I've always been open and honest about who I am.  And I assumed that would transfer right over to this blog.  But I can't begin to tell you the thoughts and discussions that have gone on regarding how much I'm going to share.  It's tough.  I spent my whole life posing for pictures so I look good and deleting the ones that I where I didn't.  And now as part of this whole transition, I'm supposed to post "real" pictures for everyone to see.  Sure, when I start losing weight, the before and after pictures will be great, but what about when I'm still the before? 

So, after way too much stress, I decided to stop thinking about it.  When I feel like the pictures will do me justice, then I'll post them.  When I feel like talking about my weight in numbers, I'll post it.  But until then, I'll just keep posting my successes and struggles. 

A liquid diet...and not the fun kind!

2 weeks before surgery my doctor is having me partake in a full liquid diet! Don't get me wrong, there were definitely a few weekends in my early 20's where I had a full liquid diet...but that was for fun!

The reasons I've found online for the liquids:
1.  To shrink the liver so it's not in the way during surgery
2.  To reduce visceral fat around the stomach to make surgery easier
3.  To reduce fat around the spleen

The real reason:
To make sure you are dedicated enough to this life change.  If you can't handle this craziness for 2 weeks, how can you handle the craziness for the rest of your life?

Well...I am pretty sure I'm dedicated.  I'm writing a check for $12,000! If that's not dedication, I don't know what is.   

So here I am, on Day 3 and feeling good.  A little hungry, but okay.  I'm sure next week will be a totally different story! But we'll see...

Here we go!!

I've been talking about it for weeks and I finally did it.  Welcome to my new blog...my weight loss journey for all the world (or at least my friends) to read!

I'm nervous and scared and anxious...but I'm mostly excited! And I can't wait to share this trip with everyone!