I'm bored...

I'm bored.  I can't do any cardio and it bores me.  I was finally used to getting up every morning at 4am, hitting the gym a few minutes before 5 and working up a really good sweat.  Then I would go back after work and get another hour of cardio in. 

Now I get up at 4am, get to the gym around 5, visit with Mr. Muscles for a little bit and then do my weight training and abs.  Sure, it's challenging and I'm building muscle and toning, but I'm not super sweaty.  And sweat burns fat.  And burning fat drops weight.  So now I'm not dropping any weight.  Grrr...

This stupid knee.  I would take pain pills every day and work out, but I can't function on pain pills...I get a little crazy.  I'm going to try swimming next week.  The YMCA has a 7 day free pass so I'm going to go over the weekend and start my free week on Monday.  Then I can hopefully get in some good cardio for a week.   

My friends are proud of me for not giving up and still going to the gym every day and working out, even with this bum knee.  And I appreciate that, but I don't feel like I deserve it.  I know it's not my fault that my knee is injured, but all the same, I don't want to hear how well I'm working through this and staying dedicated.  Because I'm not happy about it.  I'm only doing it because I refuse to give up.  But that doesn't mean I don't want to give up all the time. 

I've been reading this book called Trusting God Anyhow! each morning at the gym.  It's written by Dr. Lavender, the Pastor of Grace Baptist Church who works out at the gym.  It's about the Book of Habakkuk.  The Book of Habakkuk is all about trying to gain true faith in God by questioning Him.  It's kind of the perfect book for me to be reading right now.  Mr. Muscles keeps telling me that God has a plan for me and I just need to have faith.  Well, it's really hard to have faith when all I see are setbacks. 

Yesterday I got to the chapter about complaining.  It seems that complaining is really just verbally doubting God's plan.  Isn't that so true?  I'm going to work on remembering that every day.  And since I started this blog complaining, I guess I need to think a little more about it! :)