Double Chin..

I think my double chin is becoming a single chin.  I have always been very aware of photos being taken of me because I don't want to look fat.  Don't we all do that?  But I've taken a few self portraits this week and each one I only had one chin...and I didn't have to do a lot of "posing" in order for that to happen. 

I said that to Janice, my dear friend, and she said...I'm glad you're finally seeing it.  Yep.  For the first time since this whole thing started I can finally see weight loss in myself.  And I like it!  Yes...I have a long way to go.  Yes...there are still going to be struggles.  I know I'm not skinny yet; but it's nice to see that I'm actually on the way. 

And that's great motivation for eating better.  Today I had lunch with Mr. Muscles and we went to a barbecue restaurant.  I could have had some yummy lamb ribs (what I usually order there), but instead I had swordfish.  It was healthy and delicious and a much better choice then ribs covered in sauce.  I realize that's only one meal out of 21 for the week, but it's a start. 

Tomorrow I start my new job where I'll be working from home.  Not only am I excited about the job, but I'm excited about the idea of being able to make my lunches healthy because I'll be at home.  It's way easier (and cheaper!) to eat healthy at home.  So I'm heading to the grocery store right now to stock up on tasty and healthy foods for my first week. 

Wish me luck on both the job and my nutrition. :)

Blood Sugar...

For the first time since surgery my blood sugar crashed.  Yesterday morning I had a pretty hard workout with Mr. Muscles and at the very end, I was on my 4th set of dead lifts and it hit me; I can always feel my sugar start to crash.  I don't have the ability to think coherently after about 2 minutes so the second I felt the crash coming, I asked Mr. Muscles to get me a drink with sugar in it and I sat on the ground. 

Well, he gave me a G2...yeah...those are sugar free.  Luckily I had an orange juice in my car so I asked Angela, a girl I work out with, to get it for me.  But by the time she asked where my keys were, I couldn't explain.  So instead of instantly getting the OJ, she tried to open everyone else's car before finally finding my keys and getting it for me!  I guess a couple of the guys were worried their cars were being stolen.  Whoops!  Mr. Muscles found some brown sugar that he had for oatmeal so I ate a little of it and finally had some orange juice.  My sugar finally came back up, but of course I was a mess for a few hours. 

And the worst part about the entire thing...I did it to myself.  I haven't eaten much sugar in the last 6 months, and I certainly haven't had it first thing in the morning.  However on Tuesday morning I had two donuts.  I shouldn't have.  They aren't good for me.  They aren't good for my band.  But they were pumpkin flavored and delicious.  And then I started antibiotics for an ear infection.  So the combination of the two really screwed me up enough that by Wednesday morning my body couldn't handle it anymore. 

I definitely learned some lessons this week.  1. I need to keep some juice or candy at the gym.  2. I need to not eat sweets first thing in the morning.  3. I really need to not eat sweets. 

The good news is I weighed myself today and in spite of me not feeling like I've had much of a weight loss, I'm down a full 55 pounds now, so that's fun!

Next on the horizon...a 2 week diet that includes some protein smoothies that Mr. Muscles has concocted.  Yum! :)

My number...

I think there are a few things that should be private in life, and my weight is one of them.  Most men don't understand that concept, especially Mr. Muscles.  He continually shares how much I weigh with complete strangers and it drives me crazy.  Maybe if I weighed 128 pounds and shared Barbie's measurements, I'd be happy to shout it from the rooftop.  But since I don't, it's private.

This morning at the gym there was a guy who doesn't come in very often.  He's one of Mr. Muscles' fraternity brothers and in his words..."lacks the motivation to get up every morning and be abused for a couple of hours".  But he came in three times last week and when he showed up this morning he told me he was there because I was motivating him to work out more.  I thought that was an incredibly nice thing to say.  Especially because it takes every ounce of my own willpower to get there in the mornings.  So Mr. Muscles pops up and says...Sarah is a rockstar.  She started out weighing...and I interrupted him and yelled NO! You have to stop telling people how much I weigh!

Now, the frat brother (I forgot his name) was super nice and said I don't need to know how much you weigh, but Mike said, Sarah, you should be proud of what you've accomplished.  I am, and I like to tell people. 

How is it that he doesn't get it?  I am super proud of what I've done.  I've lost 54 pounds in 6 months.  I'm stronger.  I look good.  And even though I have bad days (usually when he weighs and measures me), I am happy.  But that doesn't mean I'll share my numbers with you.  Maybe at the end of this journey I will...and maybe I won't.  But whatever I decide, it has nothing to do with my pride, just my privacy. 

Steroid shots...

Steroid shots feel good. :) Not when they are being done, but 24 hours afterwards.  Yesterday I saw the Orthopedic Extraordinaire for cortisone shots in both of my knees.  He said my bad one sounded a bit more crunchy but is impressed with my workouts.  And he said really, that's what I have to do.  Keep it moving.  So I will. 

And this morning I had such great range of motion in it!  Of course, that meant that Mr. Muscles wanted me to do some squats.  I swear he won't let it go.  I'm never going to do another squat again!  And he just LOVES it when I tell him no. :) But I didn't have any pain today.  Hopefully it lasts at least through the weekend or longer.  6 months ago when I got them on a Friday afternoon, by Monday morning I had pain again.  However, I flew to Austin that weekend so I had two major pressure changes in a short amount of time. 

Yesterday before I went to the doctor, I rode the bike at the gym.  And I ended up riding 20 miles.  I'm so impressed with myself!  I've been alternating the bike and the elliptical every morning.  I'm up to 5 miles on the elliptical in a morning; I work up quite a sweat! :)

This morning Mr. Muscles told me that he's putting me on a diet for 2 weeks.  Starting Saturday I will replace two of my five meals (yeah...like I actually eat that much!) with a protein shake made from 12 oz of liquid yogurt, 1 banana, 1 scoop of protein powder, 2 spoon fulls of a particular brand of peanut butter and crushed ice.  Sounds yummy, right?  He wants me to eat 5 meals a day, but I've never done it.  Maybe by drinking two of them I'll get in two other meals too.  Along with the shakes...no meat, only fish.  I guess the goal will be to get in high quality calories, clean out my digestive system and "tighten me up". 

My goal for it would be to kick start my weight loss again.  I'm building so much muscle that I'm struggling to lose weight.  I was talking to my friends about our hatred of the scale today.  Just because the numbers aren't going down doesn't mean I'm not getting healthier and more toned and in shape.  I wore a dress today that I bought last year but never wore because I didn't like the fit of it.  Today it fit perfectly!  So just because the scale is refusing to move, I feel better and look better.  And isn't that really what this is about?  I believe it is. 

First Complication...

I had my first complication the other night.  And it was not fun.  Last week I had another band fill; I'm now up to 8cc's of fluid in the band.  That means the opening from my "new stomach" to the old stomach is smaller than a quarter.  In fact, it's probably closer to a nickle.  And that means that my food needs to be chewed up pretty small. 

I was eating a piece of breaded chicken and I just didn't chew it up anywhere close to where it needed to be.  So it got stuck in that opening.  And holy moly it was painful!  Do you know how tight your chest feels when you are drinking a soda pop and you inhale at the same time and you feel like you have an air bubble that needs to be released?  That's the kind of pain this was.  You can't rub it out, you can't do anything about it but breathe deep and hope it goes away.  It lasted almost 3 minutes.  But I waited it out because I really didn't want to throw up. 

Lots of bandsters (as those with a lap band call themselves) would just throw up and keep going.  But I think that sounds awful.  I just let my stomach continue to pump and work on getting the chicken through the opening.  Needless to say I have been chewing my food up way better! 

As I was telling my mom about it, I said after it was over, it wasn't the worst thing in the world.  Because it gave me a nice reminder that I have this band and I can't just eat willy nilly without consequences.  And this was the first time that I've really "felt" the band.  I said in my last post that I've been so blessed because I haven't had any issues.  But because I haven't, I have also worried about my band not really working.  Sure, I've lost a lot of weight, but I work out like a crazy woman and I kind of assume that I would have lost this much without the band. 

This past weekend I spent a day volunteering for the Christmas in October organization.  I worked on a house at 51st and Walrond.  The woman that owns the home had every single window broken.  She had a drug house close to her and quite a few drug thugs used her yard to cut through to get to it so she had a fence put up.  And it's assumed that some of the drug thugs threw rocks at each of her windows in retaliation.  So we replaced all the windows.  And her house was in desperate need of new paint.  We spent the first half of the day scraping and getting it ready to paint and the second half of the day painting.  It was a GREAT shoulder workout and a good dead.  Of course, standing on a ladder wasn't good for my knee, but I see the Orthopedic Extraordinaire on Wednesday for some steroid shots so it should feel better in just a few days. 

And I was still able to get in 12 miles this morning on the bike. :)